Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Photos of the Millenium: Lost Brother


Numbly, I drove, my heart knowing the destination before my mind could figure it out. I parked in the near empty lot and exited the car, keys jingling in my hand. The guards at the gate nodded, letting me enter without question. They knew me here. It isn't a very great place to be known, but at least they don't ask questions anymore.

I wandered through the lawn. All the stones are identical, but I know where his is. I don't even stop to read before I fall to my knees in front of it. My keys fall uselessly to the grass as my hands go limp in my lap. I don't even want to look up, but I do. Frail arms lift my trembling hands, and I stroke the engraving with my fingertips as my eyes blur the words before me. "I miss you," I croaked breathlessly. I miss him more than words can say.

I blinked and saw the procession; his casket blanketed by the American flag, men in uniforms that had served alongside my brother but met a better fate. I blinked and saw the uniformed men at our front door, giving me a letter in his place. My mother stumbled to the couch, hand over her mouth as I stood in disbelief, wishing it was a dream. I blinked and was sitting on the floor in my bedroom, back against my bed, reading one of his letters from the shoe box I kept under my bed. The last letter he ever sent me. There it was, clear as day, the promise he made to me that he didn't know he wouldn't be able to keep. I love you. I'll see you soon.

I curled up against the grass by his tombstone, pressing my face against the cold ground, my fingers digging into the dirt in an attempt to get closer to him. I let my eyes flutter closed as memories of him danced before me. His arms wrapped tightly around me, holding me close to him. The both of us wrestling over a candy bar in the living room. In the airport, when he kissed my forehead and I waved as he walked away, not knowing it was goodbye for good.

My fingers brushed the base of the cold stone as tears formed a pool beneath me. I'll see you again someday.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Music Freewrite

She dances across the floor
Feeling the music, letting it become her.
Her hair whips as she spins
Her dress flies about her
Bare feet on the wooden stage
She strikes her final pose.
Breathless. Satisfied.
But he is not
Again, he yells, again
Again she flies across the floor
Leaping, spinning, twisting, lunging
Reaching for perfection
But he is not satisfied.
She dances until her dress is torn
Her makeup smudged and her muscles sore
But he pushes her back down.
She will never be good enough
Yet she continues to dance
Sighing when her dress brushes her legs
And her bare feet hit the wooden stage
Trying to free herself

Lyric Shuffle Poem

*inspired by Ed Sheeran's Thinking Out Loud*

It's just one of those days
When her heart was stepped on and shattered
And she didn't quite know how to put it back together

She had half a mind to leave
To run away and never return
But she stayed
And let her heart continue to break

She just wanted to be loved
But he loved her too much
It smothered her
It suffocated her
And she didn't know how to fix it

Her eyes still smiled
But her soul was shattered
Her legs wouldn't work like they should
They ran toward the pain
To save him, she sacrificed herself
She tried to stop loving him
But he couldn't
He would never stop loving her

His love stole the hope from her soul
The breath from her lungs
The light from her eyes
Was gone